"Much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~ Steve Jobs</span>
"Curiosity is what draws you out of your comfort zone; fear is what draws you back in."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~ Marc Jacobs</span>
"Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.”
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~ Voltaire</span>
I recognize I’m beating the proverbial dead horse on curiosity quotes, it’s not lost on me. Why the beating? Because genuine curiosity is powerful and being a truly curious participant in life can transform your relationships, especially with family.
Bear with me, I’ll try to keep this tight...
In your own mind - from your own perspective - you are always acting rationally; there are always reasons (perhaps only known to you) for your words and actions. So, while your behavior may at times seem irrational to others, it makes complete sense to you. Why? Because others have no insight into your mind. Your reasoning remains a mystery.
And at the same time, when your behavior frustrates others, you lack the perspective to understand why they are frustrated because your behavior makes sense to you and their reaction does not.
So how do we reconcile the gap between you and your actions and others and their frustrations? You both need to get curious.
What I love about authentic curiosity is that is does not judge, it seeks to understand.
Stephen Covey talks about this in his seminal book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Habit 5: Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
This concept is especially important for family members who use old narratives to fill their void of understanding. Family relationships - which should be (or could be) the most precious of all - are predicated on old (mis)understandings. However, imagine talking to your mom, dad, brother, or sister like you would a new friend, with deep curiosity and the energetic excitement of getting to know who that person is...and why.
So, instead of filling that misunderstanding gap with assumptions, good or bad, get curious and make a concerted effort to understand the reasoning that’s driving another's behavior. Ultimately, you may not agree with the logic, but at least you will know where it is coming from.
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~ Albert Einstein</span>
