There were dozens of photocopied pages covered with my father’s distinct handwriting. The dates on the top of the pages went back to the late 80s and early 90s; this stack of papers was a treasure chest of family memories.
These Minutes from our childhood family meetings were found in a box in my mom’s attic and memories came flooding back as I read about my sister’s horse shows, my twin brother peeing on the toilet seat (sorry Jon), and me not picking up my things when asked.
While we weren’t religious about meeting every week, we did hold quite a few. These 20-30-minute meetings convened around the kitchen table and focused on behavior, expectations, and aligning on upcoming activities. As I reflect on these meetings, they were both a source of deep family connection as well as anxiety if I knew I hadn’t held up my side of our family’s expectations.
Although scheduling a family meeting might feel overly formal, there is incredible value.
Per Wharton psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant, the four purposes of a meeting include: 1) to decide, 2) to learn, 3) to bond and 4) to do. For decades, renowned professors have studied the nuances of meetings and companies have invested billions into their optimization. Meetings are no small matter. In the corporate world, they can consume your day; most people claim to hate them, but every organization needs them.
Given how vital meetings are to the success of an organization, why would we implement them in our families, the home to our most cherished relationships?
The single greatest challenge to my work with clients is a family’s lack of connection and communication. That being the case, investing 20-30 minutes every week (or even just every month) to check in on one another (bond), to talk about what’s going well and what is not (learn), and to make sure your family activities are all aligned (decide) seems like a small investment for generational connectivity.
Like any high-performing team, high-performing families need to meet; the benefits are numerous, the least of which might just be a little less pee on the toilet seat.
"Meetings are the linchpin of everything. If someone says you have an hour to investigate a company, I wouldn't look at the balance sheet. I'd watch their executive team in a meeting for an hour. If they are clear and focused and have the board on the edge of their seats, I'd say this is a good company worth investing in."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~Patrick Lencioni</span>
"Meetings get a bad rap, and deservedly so - most are disorganized and distracted. But they can be a critical tool for getting your team on the same page." <br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80">~Justin Rosenstein</span>
"For me, true luxury can be caviar or a day with no meetings."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80">~Michael Kors</span>
