"We cannot change anything until we accept it. Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses."
<br/><span class="body-2 opacity-80" style="padding-top:0.75rem">~ Carl Jung</span>
I had the privilege of attending a dinner with Jerry Colonna this week. For those not familiar with Jerry, he is a pioneering venture capitalist who has become a coach for Fortune 500 CEOs, technology titans, and celebrities around the world. His first book, Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up, was a powerful influence on my work advising families.
One of the questions Jerry asks is: “How have I been complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want."
The following day after dinner, I facilitated a roundtable discussion with family members from some of the largest family offices in America.
My topic of discussion was how these family members were creating psychological safety in their families. For most, safety doesn't exist. It was sad to hear that so many, despite their family’s extraordinary wealth, were missing the safety to share their hopes, dreams, and perspectives.
Channeling my inner Jerry, I asked the roundtable participants how they have been complicit in creating the conditions they say they didn’t want.
This simple question changed the energy of the discussion. You could see each and every participant stop and begin to reflect on their role and more importantly, what they could potentially do about it.
Being family in a family enterprise can be hard. However, we all have agency over how we’re going to deal with the challenges; whether we are going to perpetuate the conditions we say we don’t want or be a catalyst for change.
So, now I ask you: How have you been complicit in the conditions you've created with your spouse, partner, kids, siblings, and parents? What action do you need to take to change the conditions to those you want?
